Friday, March 5, 2010

Motherhood: A Tragedy in Three Acts

I have three stories to tell you, and I can't decide which to post first. I guess I'll go with Door #2. (Wait for it ... that turn of phrase will take on additional significance in a minute, but not in a good way.)

Act 1: Morning

Scene: Sprout's preschool

While helping Sprout get changed for swimming day, Our Hero discovers evidence of some less-than-optimal personal hygiene in his underwear. Because she is unbelievably lame and has once again neglected to leave a full set of clean, labeled clothing in his cubby, (even though she is not currently working for money and this type of thing is, arguably, her only real responsibility), she humbly borrows a pair from school. She then wraps the offending undergarment in several opaque plastic grocery bags, stuffs them in her purse, and promptly forgets this ever happened.

Act 2: Afternoon

Scene: Kitchen

Hero (to self): WTF? What is this clump of empty grocery bags doing in my purse?

Hero stuffs the grocery bags in a cupboard under the kitchen island, also known as the Island of Lost Tupperware, and quickly slams the door to avoid avalanche of mismatched tubs and lids. And promptly forgets this ever happened.

Act 3: Evening

Scene: Laundry room

Emptying Sprout's backpack and starting laundry prompts Our Hero to recover memory of Act 1.

All-too-familiar sinking feeling accompanies recovered memory of Act 2.

The End.

And the worst part, you guys? I cannot find them. So the other posts will have to wait, because right now I have to go burn down my kitchen.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know you, not really. But I love you anyway. Your voice is a breath of fresh air (even if your kitchen cabinets are not...)